Whatever you do, don't say WHATEVER!

According to a US survey published in the STAR on 9 Oct 09, the most annoying word is "whatever". If you want to be a great conversationalist this is certainly a word to be avoided. Therefore, whatever you do, don't say WHATEVER in conversation.

Nearly 50% of people questioned in the Marist telephone poll of 938 adults said "whatever" was the word that bothered them the most. It was the most irritating word in all regions of the country, and among both sexes, all age groups, educational levels and income brackets. The word "whatever" is used so often in terms of casual conversation among friends and family members.

When you think of the meaning behind it, it is often a way to dismiss someone. It is irritating in that aspect. For instance, I remember whenever my mom asks our opinion where and what to eat for our Sunday brunch after church service, the answer given by us is often, you know, "whatever" lah. I guess, she must be disgusted with such an answer. I promise myself never to use the word "whatever" in my reply or at least refrain myself from using it that often.

So,

DON'T!

By Julien Lim Zhen-Wei

Religion

In this blog, i would like to talk about the way that religion communicate with us. I still remember clearly that while I was still in the national service camp, I was force to join a Buddhism class. The class was held on Thursday and Friday night, and also Sunday morning. The routine of the class is something like, first when u arrive to the class, get yourself to meditate, then, they will ask us to follow them to read some paragraphs, wishing our family, friends and also teachers in the camp to become healthy and happy always and then they will start talking about all the Buddha things.

At the beginning I don't really have the spirit or the heart to join the class, like what I said I was forced to go there just because every religion has their own class to attend. Day after day the teachers in the Buddha class keep talking about those karma things, keep talking about how we suppose to treat our family members, but of course the good side. At that moment, family is the most important thing for me. So i started to really listen to what they say, really like go into the Buddha things.

So what I'm trying to say is, actually religion is somehow like hypnotist, but it is just an opinion of mine. They talk to you, giving you some opinions and supports when you need help. They fill up your emptiness when you feel alone. Although we can't see Buddha, but to some people they do believe that he is just around us all the time. Although we can't really talk to him, but we do always talk to him, such as when we are praying, when we are unhappy, that is what I'm trying to say, religion does fill up our empty heart when there is no one around us to communicate with. Religion is one of the way that can actually make us to say out what what we hide deep inside our heart. So how bout trying to talk to the God next time when you really feel depressed and there is no one you feel like talking to.

By Leong Shong Hon

The power of communication

Recently CY had talked a lot with me, encouraging me doing things that i don't used to do, encouraging me to do things that i would not think of doing in the past. Furthermore, she asked me to join some activities that i would never think to participate before. She even pointed out what actually my problem is. I think that is why we need a friend around us who we really can talk to.

The next day after the conversation, I had a presentation. As usual, i felt nervous. One of the buddy practice my talk with me in the DSA, pointed out which part of my speech i should do more effort in order to improve, before i go out and do the presentation, he gave me some moral support. After the presentation, i get praises from my friends and also the lecturer, I don't know was that just to comfort me or they are talking the facts. But what I am sure at that moment was, I felt happy when i heard that, and i felt more calm before i did the presentation. Although i said thanks to them for several times, but i don't mean just simply saying that, i really mean it.

Actually what I am trying to say is, a simple conversation actually contains of some kind of power, it can make oneself feel happy, sad, nervous and so on. It also can build up a person's confidence, and also comforting people when they feel bad. A simple conversation also can make people feel relaxing, feel comfort. But what I want to say is, we have to really beware of people who we are talking to. Sometimes there are people who doesn't really trustworthy, they give out negative powers. they influence our emotion and might make us feel inconfidence. To conclude, I would like to say that, the power of communication will really bring benefits but also will bring disadvantages. We must always beware of what we say.

By Leong Shong Hon

1 Malaysia - A civil cultured society

We are all moving towards building a nation 1 Malaysia. Malaysia, as we know Malaysia is a melting pot of colours and faces with races such as Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan and Dayak. We live in harmony and we have mutual respect for one another. Every citizen has an important role to play to build a society that is peaceful and law-abiding. As a result, we are able to attain peace and stability.

Remember the proverb, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world". The building of good character begins from the cradle. The role of a mother is very important in shaping a child. Communication influences the way children think and act. Their minds absorb the information they learn. They express themselves better and become more creative in their thinking.

Children are constantly being exposed to diverse images, viewpoints and opinions on our customs and our traditions. The traditions that we follow shape our culture. Malaysia is truly a nation with a diversity found only in few places in the world. So, it's our dream to continue to build a civil cultured society that holds this nation together. A sense of pride in being who we are - 1 Malaysia

By Julien Lim Zhen-Wei

Toast to the Bride and Groom!

I attended a wedding dinner of my Uncle Leong at Marriot Hotel, Kuala Lumpur, some time back. It is customary that the groom's family hosts the dinner. The father of the groom should speak first, followed by the best man, before the toast. A fabulous speech cum toast can turn an ordinary occasion into an extraordinary celebration and make a simple moment special :) What I remember clearly was the speech given by Uncle Robert, his best friend also his best-man, before the toast!

In his speech, he made it short, sweet and snappy. It had a good balance of humor, interest and meaning. He lighten all of us up by relating the incident how the bride and groom met each other at the airport while they were stranded on an island for a night. He also reflected on the outstanding accomplishments of the groom, how he climbed the corporate ladder. He chose simple words as often the simplest words sound the most sincere, about the groom's relationship with his friends and GOD.

Uncle Robert indeed a charismatic person unfazed by the 300 invited guests at the ballroom, he was able to deliver a speech that captivate the crowd no matter what words are being said. Ending with a line quoted by him before the toast, "Wishing the bride and groom many blessings from God. To good health and Love, double happiness!"

By Julien Lim Zhen-Wei

opening of a conversation

It is quite hard when you want to start something, as in set up a business, activity or a company. But for me, it is much more harder to start a conversation, especially to the strangers. First, you will need courage to do so. When you do have the courage, it doesn't mean that you will have the chance to have a good conversation. The most important thing is that you need to have a good opening skill.

The most common opening that use by people is the skill 'small talk', which also known as phatic communication. For example, we always ask people how do you do when we first meet with people. This is one of the way to start a conversation using small talk skill.What do we usually talk when we use phatic communication? Actually we do have a lot of things to talk. But most commonly people will use the weather or films they recently watch. For instance, while I was in secondary school, I like to talk with my friends about drama I watched before the night to school. Most commonly i will start our conversation like that, 'hey, did u watch that drama yesterday, that was quite interesting......bla bla bla.' That is an example of mine, I believe that many people have gone through that before too.

Other than that, greeting people also consider as an opening of a conversation, such as the word 'hi'. It is a very simple word but it does greet people, it does makes people feel that you are a polite person, but definitely you have to speak it out in a nice and polite tone. When you can do so, it usually lead us to a happy conversation.

Having a good opening is the key point to a good and comfortable conversation. So remember to use good small talk skills next time when you meet your friends.

By Leong Shong Hon

Self Check

I guess that I don't really know how to talk to people when I'm in a group discussion. For example, we were put inside a group for group work in the human comm tutorial class. I don't really dare to voice out, although i do have some ideas going on inside my head. Maybe because of I'm lack of confident again.

Another example, when few of my cousins sit together and talk. I am always the one who acts as a listener. I will think that is it I don't want to talk, I don't like to talk, or I really don't know what to talk? Actually its very hard for me to talk to others. It is much more harder when I'm being put inside a group discussion, no matter the group is close with me or just ordinary friends.

But still, I would like to think that it is because of my lack of confident. Because this is the only way i can find to improve myself. And my very lousy English. I don't really speak well English, this makes me do not always talk to people who doesn't speak Chinese. I do always doing self checking on my own but i does not always able to do corrections on my own mistakes. That is the part that makes me feel upset about.Hmm...never mind, I think I am still able to correct them, as long as I have the heart, right? Tomorrow will start college again, it is really hard for me to get up from my warm and comfortable bed and go to college. I hope i can make it, reach school on the time. I'm trying to get rid of Monday blue.

By Leong Shong Hon