Since kindergarten until now, I don’t really have much confidence about myself. I feel shy talking to others. I always feel that I can’t do things well. I feel nervous when someone asks me to do something important. Maybe because I cant accept myself from facing failure, I doesn’t hope to disappoint people who put on their hope on me. There are many factors that hold me on my back from proceeding myself to the next level. But when I look over myself all again, is it those really what makes me feel not confidence? Or maybe of the culture I have been through all these years.
I’m the second son of my family, which is also the youngest. Since I was a kid until now, many important decisions and choices of my life are done by indirectly my family. I was pampered since I was small. Relatives who are like my age had gone through things like searching for a part time job. I’m the only teen who didn’t work before. My family culture which is the youngest kid get most pampered life made my life become more safety I guess. But in another way, I can’t get independence. This caused me always run away and avoiding when I faced problems. I hate being like this. Until now, even what movie I want to watch when my brother and I reached cinema also I let my brother to make the decisions, when go out for dinner also I let my family members to order for me. Maybe that’s another way of mine showing my love to my family, being a very good and obedient children in my family. That’s my perception towards myself.XD
In the future, I will try a lot harder to find out who myself really are. I want to understand myself. I want to become a people who can really make my own decisions. i want to gain back my confidence which I lost all this years. ^^
by Leong Shong Hon
0 comments:
Post a Comment